Living is having ups and downs and sharing them with friends.
Author: Trey Parker and Matt Stone

The eternal silence of these infinite spaces fills me with dread.
Author: Blaise Pascal

Know most of the rooms of thy native country before thou goest over the threshold thereof.
Author: Thomas Fuller

The fact is, the old clichs work for us in abstract terms, but they never work out in real life quite the same way. Life is messy; clichs are clean and tidy.
Author: Hugh Macleod

The fact that when we die we are nothing more than worm meat---I just don't think about it.
Author: Robin Green and Mitchell Burgess

How many journalists does it take to change a light bulb? "We just report the facts, we don't change them." Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a Pulitzer prize for reporting that Electric Company hired a light bulb assassin to break the bulb in the first place.
This is the joke from a category: Journalist jokes

Reporter: My editor sent me to do the burglary. Policeman: You're too late - it's already been done.
This is the joke from a category: Journalist jokes

What do you get if you cross a sports reporter with a vegetable ? A common tater !
This is the joke from a category: Journalist jokes

An honest weatherman says, "Today's forecast is bright and sunny with an 80% chance that I'm wrong."
This is the joke from a category: Journalist jokes

The judge said to his dentist: "Pull my tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth."
This is the joke from a category: Judge jokes