The evil that we know is best.
Author: Titus Maccius Plautus

Publishers are just middlemen. That's all. If artists could remember that more often, they'd save themselves a lot of aggrevation.
Author: Hugh Macleod

The first condition of immortality is death.
Author: Stanislaw J. Lec

The first duty to children is to make them happy, If you have not made them so, you have wronged them, No other good they may get can make up for that.
Author: Charles Buxton

The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool.
Author: Richard Feynman

Judge: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are on dead people.
This is the joke from a category: Judge jokes

Judge to witness: "And where was the location of the accident?" Witness: "Approximately milepost 499." Judge:: "And where is milepost 499?" Witness: "About halfway between milepost 498 and milepost 500."
This is the joke from a category: Judge jokes

When is an English teacher like a judge? When she hands out long sentences.
This is the joke from a category: Judge jokes

How is a judge like an English teacher? They both hand out long sentences.
This is the joke from a category: Judge jokes

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a watchdog? A terrified postman.
This is the joke from a category: King Kong jokes