I am against using death as a punishment. I am also against using it as a reward.
Author: Stanislaw J. Lec

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperatelly? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.
Author: Russell Baker

The family is the country of the heart.
Author: Giuseppe Mazzini

The first and great commandment is: Don't let them scare you.
Author: Elmer Davis

It is better to understand little than to misunderstand a lot.
Author: Anatole France

A weather forecaster took a job in another part of the country. When asked why he transferred he replied, "The weather didn't agree with me."
This is the joke from a category: Journalist jokes

The Judge asked the defendant, "Mr. Jones ,do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" "I do." "Now what do you say to defend yourself?" "Your Honor, under those limitations... nothing."
This is the joke from a category: Judge jokes

A prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman, to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you." The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him." At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!"
This is the joke from a category: Judge jokes

Judge: You stated that the stairs went down to the basement, is that correct? A: Yes. Judge: And these same stairs, did the also go up?
This is the joke from a category: Judge jokes

When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court," he smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not pass through a red light' five hundred times."
This is the joke from a category: Judge jokes