Know most of the rooms of thy native country before thou goest over the threshold thereof.
Author: Thomas Fuller

The fact is, the old clichs work for us in abstract terms, but they never work out in real life quite the same way. Life is messy; clichs are clean and tidy.
Author: Hugh Macleod

The fact that when we die we are nothing more than worm meat---I just don't think about it.
Author: Robin Green and Mitchell Burgess

I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.
Author: Groucho Marx

The firm, the enduring, the simple, and the modest are near to virtue.
Author: Confucius

The judge said to his dentist: "Pull my tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth."
This is the joke from a category: Judge jokes

Prosecutor: Did you kill the victim? Defendant: No, I did not. Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalties are for perjury? Defendant: Yes, I do. And they're a hell of a lot better than the penalty for murder.
This is the joke from a category: Judge jokes

Judge: What is your relationship with the plaintiff? A: She is my daughter. Judge: Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?
This is the joke from a category: Judge jokes

Mr. Schneider stood up in court. "As God is my judge, I do not owe my ex-wife any money." Glaring down at him, the judge replied, "He's not. I am. You do."
This is the joke from a category: Judge jokes

Who is the most powerful ghoul? Judge Dread.
This is the joke from a category: Judge jokes