The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; men alone are quite capable of every wickedness.
Author: Joseph Conrad

I'm a level 5 vegan, I don't eat anything that casts a shadow.
Author: Matt Groening

The best mirror is an old friend.
Author: George Herbert

I dream, therefore I become.
Author: Cheryl Rene Grossman

The best victory is when the opponent surrenders of its own accord before there are any actual hostilities...It is best to win without fighting.
Author: Sun-tzu

Why did the stupid boy wear a turtle neck sweater? To hide his flea collar.
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

A guy walking down a street one afternoon passes an old man sitting on the side of the road with a large sack. The younger guy says to the old man, "Watcha got in the sack?" The old man responds, "I got some monkeys in that there sack." The younger man asks, "If I guess how many monkeys you got in the sack, can I keep one?" The old man replies, "Son, if you guess how many monkeys I got in this sack, I'll give you both of 'em!"
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

Why did the Aggie call 911 in the car wash? - He thought he saw the rotating car washer as a tornado
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, I described the person to my boss as rather monosyllabic. My boss said, "Really? Where is Monosyllabia?". Thinking that he was just kidding, I played along and said that it was just south of Elbonia. He replied, "Oh, you mean over by Croatia?"
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

What did the idiot do to the flea in his ear? Shot it!
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes