I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.
Author: Matt Groening

The argument that making contraceptives available to young people would prevent teen pregnancies is ridiculous. That's like offering a cookbook as a cure to people who are trying to lose weight.
Author: Jerry Falwell

The art of dining well is no slight art, the pleasure not a slight pleasure.
Author: Michel de Montaigne

Nature does not proceed by leaps.
Author: Linnaeus

The arts must be considered an essential element of education... They are tools for living life reflectively, joyfully and with the ability to shape the future.
Author: Shirley Trusty Corey

Hatton: I ain't as dumb as I look! Folsom: You couldn't be!
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

What has eight legs and an IQ of forty? Four guys watching a baseball game.
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

Edney and Cole, two Ohio Edison electrical repairmen, were working on a blown house circuit. "Hey, Cole!" said Edney. "See those two wires?" "Sure," Cole answered. "Now just grab one of them." Cole grabbed one of the wires. "Feel anything?" asked his partner. "Not a thing," answered Cole. "Good!" said Edney. "Don't touch the other one or you'll drop dead!"
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

Wyatt, Milford and Calhoun were standing one on top of the other trying to measure a flag pole. A man passing by yelled up to them, "Why don't you guys just take down the pole, lay it down on the ground and measure it?" "We don't wanna measure the length, mister!" Wyatt sneered. "We wanna measure the height!"
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

Did you hear about the Iranian terrorist who switched off the fans of his stolen helicopter because he couldn't stand the draft?
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes