The absolute good is not a matter of opinion but of nature.
Author: Cicero

If thou desire the love of God and man, be humble, for the proud heart, as it loves none but itself, is beloved of none but itself. Humility enforces where neither virtue, nor strength, nor reason can prevail.
Author: Francis Quarles

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.
Author: Doug Larson

The Americans have need of the telephone, but we do not. We have plenty of messenger boys.
Author: Sir William Preece

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.
Author: Matt Groening

A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had. The old explorer said, "Once I was hunting Bengal tigers in the jungles of India. I was on a narrow path and my faithful native gunbearer was behind me. Suddenly the largest tiger I have ever seen leaped onto the path in front of us. I turned to get my weapon only to find the native had fled. The tiger leapt toward me with a mighty ROARRRR! I soiled myself." The reporter said, "Under those circumstances anyone would have done the same." The old explorer said, "No, not then - just now when I went 'ROARRRR!'"
This is the joke from a category: Hunting jokes

How does an idiot call for his dog? He puts two fingers in his mouth and then shouts Rover.
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

Why did the idiot plant nickels in his garden? He wanted to raise some hard cash.
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

Did you hear about the stupid woodworm? He was found in a brick.
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

I don't know what it is that makes you stupid but whatever it is, it works.
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes