Best Cell Phones

I always consider the settlement of America with reverence and wonder, as the opening of a grand scene and design in providence, for the illumination of the ignorant and the emancipation of the slavish part of mankind all over the earth.
Author: John Adams

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August.
Author: Ronnie Shakes

We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.
Author: Aesop

Weary the path that does not challenge. Doubt is an incentive to truth and patient inquiry leadeth the way.
Author: Hosea Ballou

Welcome to the human race. Nobody controls his own life, Ender. The best you can do is choose to be controlled by good people, by people who love you.
Author: Orson Scott Card

Q: What kind of witch goes to the beach? A: Sandwitch
This is the joke from a category: Witch jokes

Why do men die before their wives? - They want to.
This is the joke from a category: Women jokes

Why haven't Women landed on the Moon? - Because it doesn't need cleaning yet!
This is the joke from a category: Women jokes

Teacher: Who was the first woman on earth? Fred: I don't know, Sir. Teacher: Come on, Fred, it has something to do with an apple. Fred: Granny Smith?
This is the joke from a category: Women jokes

Doctor Sawbones speaking. Oh, doctor, my girlfriend's just dislocated her jaw. Can you come over in, say, three or four weeks' time?
This is the joke from a category: Women jokes