Best Cell Phones

I enjoy being a highly overpaid actor.
Author: Roger Moore

Man is equally incapable of seeing the nothingness from which he emerges and the infinity in which he is engulfed.
Author: Blaise Pascal

Treat the other man's faith gently; it is all he has to believe with. His mind was created for his own thoughts, not yours or mine.
Author: Henry S. Haskins

Trifles go to make perfection, And perfection is no trifle.
Author: Michelangelo Buonarroti

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.
Author: Martin Mull

What is a goal keepers favourite snack? Beans on post!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

What is a runner's favourite subject in school? Jog-raphy!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Why do grasshoppers not go to many football matches? They prefer cricket matches!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

What tea do footballers drink? Penaltea!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Two college basketball players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank. The last question read, "Old MacDonald had a ________." Bubba was stumped. He had no idea what to answer. But he knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed. Making sure the professor wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny on the shoulder. "Pssst. Tiny. What's the answer to the last question?" Tiny laughed. He looked around to make sure the professor hadn't noticed then he turned to Bubba. "Bubba, you're so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a FARM." "Oh yeah," said Bubba. "I remember now." He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. He stopped. Tapping Tiny's should er again, he whispered, "Tiny, how do you spell farm?" "You are really dumb, Bubba. That's so easy. Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O."
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes