Best Cell Phones

I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.
Author: Carl Sandburg

We are always in our own company.
Author: Friedrich Nietzsche

We are bits of stellar matter that got cold by accident, bits of a star gone wrong.
Author: Sir Arthur Eddington

We are drawn to our television sets each April the way we are drawn to the scene of an accident.
Author: Vincent Canby

I was eyes to the blind, and feet was I to the lame.
Author: Bible

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them. "Not very long," answered the Mexican. "But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the tourist. The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family. The tourist asked, "So what do you do with the rest of your time?" "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, spend time with my wife... In the evenings I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, chase the senioras, and sing a few songs. I have a full life." The tourist said, "I have a M.B.A. from Stanford and I can help you. You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue , you can buy a bigger boat. With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New Jersey! From there you can direct your huge enterprise." "How long would that take?" asked the Mexican. "Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the tourist. "And after that?" asked the Mexican. "Afterwards? That's when it gets really interesting," answered the tourist, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start selling stocks and make millions!" "Millions? Really?" asked the Mexican. "And after that?" The tourist replied, "After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village n ear the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, spend time with your wife, and spend your evenings drinking and playing the guitar with your friends!"
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes

Where do werewolves stay when they're on vacation? At the Howliday Inn!
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes

Well-known lodging chain announced it was creating a line of nofrills hotels. The only way you'll see a chocolate on the pillow now is if the last guest was eating an M&M.
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes

What should you call a bald teddy ? Fred bear !
This is the joke from a category: Various animal jokes

How do you hire a teddy bear? Put him on stilts !
This is the joke from a category: Various animal jokes