Best Cell Phones

I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
Author: Charles M. Schulz

The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it.
Author: Glaser and Way

The proof that man is the noblest of all creatures is that no other creature has ever denied it.
Author: Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

The Puritans gave thanks for being preserved from the Indians, and we give thanks for being preserved from the Puritans.
Author: Finley Peter Dunne

The quickest way to a man's heart really is through his stomach, because then you don't have to chop through that pesky rib cage.
Author: J. Jacques

What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A Doberman.
This is the joke from a category: Lawyer jokes

"You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background," sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand. "If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment," replied the witness.
This is the joke from a category: Lawyer jokes

A woman was being questioned in a court trial involving slander. "Please repeat the slanderous statements you heard, exactly as you heard them," instructed the lawyer. The witness hesitated. "But they are unfit for any respectable person to hear," she protested. "Then," said the attorney, "just whisper them to the judge."
This is the joke from a category: Lawyer jokes

Did you hear that the Post Office had to recall its series of stamps depicting famous lawyers? People were confused about which side to spit on.
This is the joke from a category: Lawyer jokes

How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus? Never enough.
This is the joke from a category: Lawyer jokes