There is always more spirit in attack than in defence.
Author: Titus Livius

There is an art of which every man should be a master the art of reflection. If you are not a thinking man, to what purpose are you a man at all?
Author: William Hart Coleridge

Laughing is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one spot.
Author: Josh Billings

There is never enough time, unless you're serving it.
Author: Malcolm Forbes

There is no duty more obligatory than the repayment of kindness.
Author: Cicero

Paul says to Jesus, "Hey man, whatcha doing for Passover?" Jesus says, "Just hanging around."
This is the joke from a category: Religious jokes

Jesus and Moses are sitting in a boat fishing and Jesus says to Moses "I want to do a miracle so we can feel like the good old days." and Moses says "Yeah sure." So Jesus gets up and says "I think I'll walk on the water, that was always a good one." So Jesus walks over to the edge of the boat, steps into the water, and sinks like a stone. Moses drags Jesus back into the boat and revives him. Moses then says "What's the problem?" and Jesus says, "I think its the holes in my feet!"
This is the joke from a category: Religious jokes

The church was conducting its annual fund drive. One member of the congregation said, "I give ten dollars." Just then, a piece of plaster fell from the ceiling and landed on his head. He spoke up again quickly. "I give a thousand dollars!" The minister said, "Lord, hit him again!"
This is the joke from a category: Religious jokes

A Jesuit, a Dominican and a Franciscan were walking along an old road, debating the greatness of their orders. Suddenly, an apparition of the Holy Family appeared in front of them, with Jesus in a manger and Mary and Joseph praying over him. The Franciscan fell on his face, over come with awe at the of sight God born in such poverty. The Dominican fell to his knees, Adoring the beautiful reflection of the Trinity and the Holy Family. The Jesuit walked up to Joseph, put his arm around his shoulder, and said, "So, where ya thinking of sending the kid for school?
This is the joke from a category: Religious jokes

Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?" "I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our guests." "I don't mean that," the priest responded. "I mean, are you prepared spiritually?" "Oh, sure," came the reply. "I've got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey."
This is the joke from a category: Religious jokes