There is a coherent plan in the universe, though I don't know what it's a plan for.
Author: Fred Hoyle

There is a great deal of wishful thinking in such cases; it is the easiest thing of all to deceive ones self.
Author: Demosthenes

There is a luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves, we feel that no one else has a right to blame us. It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.
Author: Oscar Wilde

There is a tide in the affairs of men Which taken at the flood, leads on to fortune; Omitted, all the voyage of their life Is bound in shallows and in miseries.
Author: William Shakespeare

There is absolutely no inevitability as long as there is a willingness to contemplate what is happening.
Author: Marshall McLuhan

God looks down and notices that Adam is all alone while all the animals have companions, so he decides to create a companion for man as well. He comes to see Adam and says to him, "Adam, you are my greatest creation and therefore, I am going to create for you the ultimate companion. She will worship the very ground you walk on, she will long for you and no other, she will be highly intelligent, she will wait on you hand and foot and obey your every command, she will be beautiful, and all it will cost you is an arm and a leg." Thinking for a few moments, Adam replies, "What could I get for a rib?"
This is the joke from a category: Religious jokes

The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"
This is the joke from a category: Religious jokes

The Baptist preacher just finished his sermon for the day and proceeded toward the back of the church for his usual greetings and handshaking as the congregation left the church. After shaking a few adult hands he came upon the seven year old son of one of the Deacons of the church. "Good morning, Jonathan," the preacher said as he reached out to shake Joanthan's hand. As he was doing do he felt something in the palm of Jonathan's hand. "What's this?" the preacher asked. "Money," said Jonathan with a big smile on his face, "It's for you!" "I don't want to take your money, Jonathan," the preacher answered. "I want you to have it," said Jonathan. After a short pause Jonathan continued, "My daddy says you're the poorest preacher we ever had and I want to help you."
This is the joke from a category: Religious jokes

Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and approached them. "What's going on here, anyway?" he asked. "This woman was found committing adultery, and the law says we should stone her!" one of the crowd responded. "Wait," yelled Jesus. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Suddenly, a stone was thrown from out of the sky, and knocked the woman on the side of her head. "Aw, c'mon, Dad..." Jesus cried, "I'm trying to make a point here!"
This is the joke from a category: Religious jokes

Johnny was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School. "Well, mum, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. "When he got to the Red Sea he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and saved the Israelites." "Now, Johnny, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked. "Well, no, mom, but if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it."
This is the joke from a category: Religious jokes