One can pass on responsibility, but not the discretion that goes with it.
Author: Benvenuto Cellini

My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's.
Author: Oscar Wilde

I was coming home from kindergarten--well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves.
Author: Ellen DeGeneres

Sometimes what's right isn't as important as what's profitable.
Author: Trey Parker and Matt Stone

There cannot be greater rudeness than to interrupt another in the current of his discourse.
Author: John Locke

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.
This is the joke from a category: Religious jokes

Q. Where is the first baseball game in the Bible? A. In the big inning, Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel, and the Prodigal Son came home. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
This is the joke from a category: Religious jokes

Q. Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot? A. The thought had never entered his head before.
This is the joke from a category: Religious jokes

Q. How do we know that Job went to a chiropractor? A. Because in Job 16:12 we read, "I had come to be at ease, but he proceeded to shake me up and he grabbed me by the back of the neck and proceeded to smash me."
This is the joke from a category: Religious jokes

There's this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about 2 weeks. One hot day, he sees the home of a missionary. Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house and collapses on the doorstep. The missionary finds him and nurses him back to health. Feeling better, the man asks the missionary for directions to the nearest town. On his way out the backdoor, he sees this horse. He goes back into the house and asks the missionary, "Could I borrow your horse and give it back when I reach the town?" The missionary says, "Sure but there is a special thing about this horse. You have to say 'Thank God' to make it go and 'Amen' to make it stop." Not paying much attetion, the man says, "Sure, ok." So he gets on the horse and says, "Thank God" and the horse starts walking. Then he says, "Thank God, thank God," and the horse starts trotting. Feeling really brave, the man says, "Thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God" and the horse just takes off. Pretty soon he sees this cliff coming up and he's doing everything he can to make the horse stop. "Whoa, stop, hold on!!!!" Finally he remembers, "Amen!!" The horse stops 4 inches from the cliff. Then the man leans back in the saddle and says, "Thank God."
This is the joke from a category: Religious jokes