Best Cell Phones

It is always easier to believe than to deny. Our minds are naturally affirmative.
Author: John Burroughs

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
Author: Milton Berle

It is best to do things systematically, since we are only human, and disorder is our worst enemy.
Author: Hesiod

It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
Author: Andre Gide

It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting.
Author: Bible

There was a guy walking down the street in San Francisco, and he tripped over an old looking oil lamp. He picked it up and hid it under his jacket, because he thought it was priceless. While he was running to the antique shop to cash this puppy in, it rubbed against his shirt. POOF! A genie popped out of his pocket! The very angry looking Genie said, "All right, I have had enough with this three wish stuff, and 'cuz you stole me away from my HBO Special, I will only give you one wish!" The surprised man said, "OK, I want to live in Hawaii in a huge condo on the beach with three million dollars in the master bedroom, but I am afraid of boats and planes so I want you to build a bridge from here to Hawaii." The genie replied with a smirk, "Are you crazy? Do you know how long that will take, with the pillars going down to the bottom of the ocean, all the cement it wou ld take for the highway? No I'm sorry, it just can't happen." The man said, "Fine then, I want to understand women." The genie said, " Would you like two lanes or four?
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

Two hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. They were quite successful in their venture and bagged six big bucks. The pilot came back, as arranged, to pick them up. They started loading their gear into the plane, including the six elk. But the pilot objected and he said, "The plane can only take four of your elk; you will have to leave two behind." They argued with him; the year before they had shot six and the pilot had allowed them to put all aboard. The plane was the same model and capacity. Reluctantly, the pilot finally permitted them to put all six aboard. But when the attempted to take off and leave the valley, the little plane could not make it and they crashed into the wilderness. Climbing out of the wreckage, one hunter said to the other, "Do you know where we are?" "I think so," replied the other hunter. I think this is about the same place where we landed last year!"
This is the joke from a category: Hunting jokes

I saw a pen in a store the other day. I picked it up and took a look at it cause it was prettier than most. The clerk said, "It's made in Germany". I said, "That's too bad, I can't use it then". The clerk said, "What's the matter? You don't like German pens?" I said, "No. I just never learned to write German."
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

What does a queen bee do when she burps ? Issues a royal pardon !
This is the joke from a category: Insect jokes

What's O. J. Simpson's Internet address? Slash, slash, backslash, slash, slash, escape.
This is the joke from a category: Internet jokes