Best Cell Phones

I can endure my own despair, but not another's hope.
Author: William Walsh

I am a galley slave to pen and ink.
Author: Honore de Balzac

I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their good intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
Author: Oscar Wilde

I cordially dislike allegory in all its manifestations, and always have done since I grew old and wary enough to detect its presence.
Author: J. R. R. Tolkien

I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who overcomes his enemies.
Author: Aristotle

The following conversation took place one morning between a wife and her husband. They were discussing government cost cuts that they recently heard about in the paper. "Steve," his wife said, while reading the newspaper, "it looks like our government is going to cut overhead and trim down the military forces. They are going to eliminate six overaged destroyers." To which the husband replies, "Sorry to hear that, dear. I'm sure you'll miss your mother being gone."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

It's not what you say, but the way you say it. On a blind date, the boy said to the girl: "Time stands still when I look into your eyes." The girl was very flattered. What the boy had really meant was, "You have a face that would stop a clock."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life. That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning. As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet. The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him.
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries. Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A mother and her child were at a wedding. A little boy looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does the girl wear white?" His mom replies, "The bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life." The boy thinks about this, and then says, "Well then, why is the boy wearing black?"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes