Best Cell Phones

If we take care of the moments, the years will take care of themselves.
Author: Maria Edgeworth

I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork.
Author: Peter De Vries

If you are pained by external things, it is not they that disturb you, but your own judgment of them. And it is in your power to wipe out that judgment now.
Author: Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

If you can give your son or daughter only one gift, let it be enthusiasm.
Author: Bruce Barton

If you cannot lift the load off another's back, do not walk away. Try to lighten it.
Author: Frank Tyger

A tourist was being led through the swamps of Florida. "Is it true," he asked, "that an alligator won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?" "That depends," replied the guide, "on how fast you carry the flashlight."
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes

"Room Service? Can you send up a towel?" "Please wait, someone else is using it."
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes

Three New Zealanders and three Aussies are travelling by train to a cricket match at the World Cup in England. At the station, the three Aussies each buy a ticket and watch as the three New Zealanders buy just one ticket between them. "How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks one of the Aussies. "Watch and learn," answers one of the New Zealanders. They all board the train. The Aussies take their respective seats but all three New Zealanders cram into a toilet and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Aussies see this and agree it was quite a clever idea. So after the game, they decide to copy the New Zealanders on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the New Zealanders don't buy a ticket at all!! "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed Aussie. "Watch and learn," answers a New Zealander. When they board the train the three Aussies cram into a toilet and soon after the three New Zealanders cram into another nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterwards, one of the New Zealanders leaves the toilet and walks over to the toilet where the Aussies are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket please."
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes

A couple were being given a guided tour of Pico da Bandeira, one of the highest mountains in the Americas. Their guide pointed out where a young couple, petrified by lava, had been discovered. They had died in the act of making love. "How awful !" exclaimed the wife. "Si, but what a great way to spend eternity." added the husband.
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes

Helpful advice for travellers: If you are going to get on a commercial flight, take a bomb with you. BECAUSE: What are the odds of TWO guys being on the SAME PLANE at the SAME TIME with a bomb?
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes