Best Cell Phones

The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces.
Author: Maureen Murphy

The reason why so few good books are written is that so few people who can write know anything.
Author: Walter Bagehot

I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
Author: Mark Twain

The rest is silence.
Author: William Shakespeare

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.
Author: Ralph Waldo Emerson

Why did the boy jump up and down on the letter? He heard that you have to stamp letters or the post office won't send them.
This is the joke from a category: Letter jokes

Who does Dracula get letters from? His fang club.
This is the joke from a category: Letter jokes

"Well, Mrs. O'Connor, so you want a divorce?" the solicitor questioned his client. "Tell me about it. Do you have a grudge?" "Oh, no," replied Mrs. O'Connor. "Shure now, we have a carport." The solicitor tried again. "Well, does the man beat you up?" "No, no," said Mrs. O'Connor, looking puzzled. "Oi'm always first out of bed." Still hopeful, the solicitor tried once again. "What I'm trying to find out are what grounds you have." "Bless ye, sor. We live in a flat -- not even a window box, let alone grounds." "Mrs. O'Connor," the solicitor said in considerable exasperation, "you need a reason that the court can consider. "What is the reason for you seeking this divorce?" "Ah, well now," said the lady, "Shure it's because the man can't hold an intelligent conversation."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

Casey married a rich widow, but they didn't get along. One day she said to him, "If it wasn't for my money, that new television wouldn't be here. If it wasn't for my money, that grand piano wouldn't be here. If it wasn't for my money, this house wouldn't be here." Casey mumbled, "If it wasn't for your money, I wouldn't be here."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I cannot die without telling you the truth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I've slept with dozens of them." His wife looked at him calmly and said, "Why do you think I gave you the poison?"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes