Best Cell Phones

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
Author: Johnny Carson

It is better to sleep on things beforehand than lie awake about them afterward.
Author: Baltasar Gracian

Human Dignity has gleamed only now and then and here and there, in lonely splendor, throughout the ages, a hope of the better men, never an achievement of the majority.
Author: James Thurber

Measure not the work until the day's out and the labor done.
Author: Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
Author: Robert Orben

What do pygmy cannibals eat for breakfast? Weedie Bix!!
This is the joke from a category: Cannibal jokes

Why would the cannibal only eat babies? He was on a diet!
This is the joke from a category: Cannibal jokes

Why was the cannibal looking peeky? Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
This is the joke from a category: Cannibal jokes

First cannibal: Come and have dinner in our but tonight. Second cannibal: What are you having? First cannibal: Hard-boiled legs.
This is the joke from a category: Cannibal jokes

The new employee stood before the paper shredder looking confused. "Need some help?" a secretary asked. "Yes," he replied. "How does this thing work?" "Simple," she said, taking the fat report from his hand and feeding it into the shredder. "Thanks, but where do the copies come out?"
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes