Best Cell Phones

I don't care where I sit, as long as I get fed.
Author: Calvin Trillin

It is a mistake to regard age as a downhill grade toward dissolution. The reverse is true. As one grows older, one climbs with surprising strides.
Author: George Sand

It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.
Author: Oscar Wilde

It is an error to imagine that evolution signifies a constant tendency to increased perfection. That process undoubtedly involves a constant remodelling of the organism in adaptation to new conditions; but it depends on the nature of those conditions whet
Author: Thomas H. Huxley

It is bad to be oppressed by a minority, but it is worse to be oppressed by a majority. For there is a reserve of latent power in the masses which, if it is called into play, the minority can seldom resist. But from the absolute will of an entire people t
Author: Lord Acton

What do witches eat at Halloween? Spook-etti, Halloweenies, Devil's food cake and Boo-berry pie.
This is the joke from a category: Halloween jokes

A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. "I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum." The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech. "And what if I swallow it?" "No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."
This is the joke from a category: Hair and bald jokes

Woman: Why are you begging for a quarter? Beggar: I didn't think someone like you would give me a dollar.
This is the joke from a category: History jokes

A man dies and goes to Heaven. He gets to meet GOD and asks GOD if he can ask him a few questions. "Sure," GOD says, "Go right ahead". "OK," the man says. "Why did you make women so pretty?" GOD says, "So you would like them." "OK," the guy says. "But how come you made them so beautiful?" "So you would LOVE them", GOD replies. The man ponders a moment and then asks, "But why did you make them such airheads?" GOD says, "So they would love you!"
This is the joke from a category: Heaven and hell jokes

"Will I ever be able to race my horse again" the owner asked the vet. The vet replied, "You certainly will, and you'll probably beat her too!"
This is the joke from a category: Horse jokes