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How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing
Author: Matt Groening

I wrote myself a check for ten million dollars for acting services rendered and dated it Thanksgiving 1995. I put it in my wallet and it deteriorated. And then, just before Thanksgiving 1995, I found out I was going to make ten million dollars for Dumb &
Author: Jim Carrey

It really doesn't matter if the person who hurt you deserves to be forgiven. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. You have things to do and you want to move on.
Author: Real Live Preacher

It shouldn't be too much of a surprise that the Internet has evolved into a force strong enough to reflect the greatest hopes and fears of those who use it. After all, it was designed to withstand nuclear war, not just the puny huffs and puffs of politici
Author: Denise Caruso

It takes a lot of time to be a genius, you have to sit around so much doing nothing, really doing nothing.
Author: Gertrude Stein

A man wanted a new aardvark so he looked through the classified ads. He phoned a number he found and an elderly lady answered. "How much are your aardvarks?" he asked. "They're L6 each," came the reply. "Did you raise them yourself?" inquired the man. "Oh yes," she said, "Yesterday they were only L5 each."
This is the joke from a category: Aardvark jokes

Do vampires get AIDS?
This is the joke from a category: Answer me this jokes

What Mrs. Dumpty gave Humpty?
This is the joke from a category: Answer me this jokes

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes - why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
This is the joke from a category: Answer me this jokes

If fire fighters fight fire and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?
This is the joke from a category: Answer me this jokes