Best Cell Phones

It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress.
Author: Mark Twain

It had only one fault. It was kind of lousy.
Author: James Thurber

It is a consolation to the wretched to have companions in misery.
Author: Publilius Syrus

It is a paradoxical but profoundly true and important principle of life that the most likely way to reach a goal is to be aiming not at that goal itself but at some more ambitious goal beyond it.
Author: Arnold Toynbee

It is a wise father that knows his own child.
Author: William Shakespeare

What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with a famous French general? Napoleon Bunnyparte!
This is the joke from a category: Easter jokes

'We're going to play elephants and circuses,' said a little boy at kindergarten, 'Do you want to join in?' 'I'd love to,'replied the teacher. 'What do you want me to do?' 'You can be the lady that feeds us peanuts !'
This is the joke from a category: Elephant jokes

Louise was watching her big sister covering her face with cream. "What's that for?" she asked. "To make me beautiful," came the reply. Louise then watched in silence as she wiped her face clean. "Doesn't work, does it?" was her comment.
This is the joke from a category: Face jokes

An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says " We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive" The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers "God Save The Queen" and jumps. The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers "Viva La France" and he also jumps. This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers "Remember the Alamo" and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.
This is the joke from a category: Ethnic jokes

After the fire-truck arrived at a burning building in a small Spanish town, the firemen observed a man dressed in a matador's costume prancing around on the roof. Four of the firemen held a safety-net and urged him to escape from the burning building by jumping into the net. He refused and loudly proclaimed, "I'm Fearless Jose the bullfighter who fears nothing, not even fire." The firemen begged and pleaded but to no avail. Jose kept prancing around while repeating the same phrase over and over until the firemen got really sick and tired of hearing it. Finally, when the flames began to scorch his butt, Jose announced he had changed his mind, was ready to jump and then leaped off the rooftop. As his body hurtled toward the safety-net, the four firemen shouted, "Ole!" and quickly moved it aside.
This is the joke from a category: Firefighter jokes