Best Cell Phones

Make your bargain before beginning to plow.
Author: Arab Proverb

Male and female represent the two sides of the great radical dualism. But in fact they are perpetually passing into one another. Fluid hardens to solid, solid rushes to fluid. There is no wholly masculine man, no purely feminine woman.
Author: Margaret Fuller

Man goeth to his long home.
Author: Bible

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something; in the absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied with bad ones.
Author: Bertrand Russell

Man is born to live, not to prepare for life.
Author: Boris Pasternak

Two men walked into a bar. You would think at least one of them would have ducked.
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

Monahan stumbled into a saloon, half crocked. "Say," he said to the bartender, "how tall is a penguin?" "About two and a half feet." "Thank God!" cried Monahan. "I thought I ran over a nun!"
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

Q: What did the bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked into the bar? A: Ok you 2, dont start anything
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy. "Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," he replied. "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair. "I'm afraid I can't," breathes the bartender, clearly in trouble. "Is there anything I can do?" "Yes there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. "Tell him that there is no toilet paper in the ladies room."
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" "No," he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it." The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?" "It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains. "What's it telling you now?" she asked. "Well, it says you're not wearing any panties." he said. The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then because I am wearing panties!" The man explains, "Damn thing must be an hour fast."
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!