No good deed goes unpunished.
Author: Clare Booth Luce

It violates right order whenever capital so employees the working or wage-earning classes as to divert business and economic activity entirely to its own arbitrary will and advantage without, the social character of economic life, social justice, and the
Author: Pope Pius XI

Praise the bridge that carried you over.
Author: George Colman

Preach not to others what they should eat, but eat as becomes you, and be silent.
Author: Epictetus

If your imagination leads you to understand how quickly people grant your requests when those requests appeal to their self-interest, you can have practically anything you go after.
Author: Napoleon Hill

Why do the elephants have short tails ? Because they can't remember long stories !
This is the joke from a category: Elephant jokes

Reports are coming in of an elephant doing a ton in the highway. Police ask motorists to drive carefully and to yield right of way.
This is the joke from a category: Elephant jokes

What does a bald elephant wear for a toupee? A sheep.
This is the joke from a category: Elephant jokes

Why do elephants squirt water through their noses? If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim.
This is the joke from a category: Elephant jokes

Fred: Your sister uses too much make-up. Harry: Do you think so? Fred: Yes. It's so thick that if you tell her a joke, five minutes after she's stopped laughing her face is still smiling!
This is the joke from a category: Face jokes