Praise youth and it will prosper.
Author: Irish Proverb

Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future.
Author: Niels Bohr

Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.
Author: Bible

Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.
Author: Robert Heinlein

Promote yourself, but do not demote another.
Author: Israel Salanter

Counselor: Wash your face. I can see what you had for breakfast. Henry: If you're so smart, what did I have? Counselor: Eggs. Henry: Wrong. I had eggs yesterday!
This is the joke from a category: Face jokes

I don't know where you got your face from, but i hope you have the receipt.
This is the joke from a category: Face jokes

Witch: Doctor, I can't help pulling ugly faces. Doctor: Well there's nothing terrible about that. Witch: It is when the people with ugly faces don't like them being pulled.
This is the joke from a category: Face jokes

A Texan, while visiting Toronto, found himself in the back seat of a taxi cab on the way to his hotel. Passing by the Royal York the Texan asked the cab driver "What's that building there?" "That's the Royal York Hotel" replied the cabbie. "The Royal York? How long did it take to build that?" asked the Texan. "About 12 years" replied the cabbie. "12 years? We build 'em twice as high, twice as wide and four times as long down in Texas, and we do that in six months." A while later the cab driver makes his was past the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre. "What's that building over there?" asked the Texan. "That's the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre" replied the cabbie. "Convention Centre? How long'd it take to build that?" asked the Texan. "About three years" replied the cabbie. "Three years? We build 'em twice as high, three times as long and four times as wide as that down in Texas, and it only takes us about two weeks." Shortly thereafter the cabbie drives past the CN Tower. "What's that building there?" asks the Texan, pointing at the tower. "Danged if I know" replied the cabbie, "It wasn't here when I drove by yesterday."
This is the joke from a category: Ethnic jokes

Why did the elephant eat the candle? He wanted a light snack!
This is the joke from a category: Elephant jokes