I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me nave or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.
Author: Anas Nin

Practice, the master of all things.
Author: Augustus Octavius

I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.
Author: George Burns

Prefer loss to the wealth of dishonest gain; the former vexes you for a time; the latter will bring you lasting remorse.
Author: Chilo

Pride grows in the human heart like lard on a pig.
Author: Alexander Solzhenitsyn

How do you make an elephant sandwich? First of all, you get a very large loaf...
This is the joke from a category: Elephant jokes

Why do elephants prefer peanuts to caviar? Because they're easier to get at the ballpark.
This is the joke from a category: Elephant jokes

Why do elephants jump across rivers? So they won't step on the fish.
This is the joke from a category: Elephant jokes

Wife to Husband: I'll have you know I've got the face of a teenager! Husband to Wife: Then you should give it back, you're wearing it out.
This is the joke from a category: Face jokes

How did your mom know you hadn't washed your face? I forgot to wet the soap.
This is the joke from a category: Face jokes