People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them.
Author: George Bernard Shaw

People are simply incapable of prolonged, sustained goodness.
Author: Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider

People can have the Model T in any colour--so long as it's black.
Author: Henry Ford

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
Author: Carl Sagan

People find life entirely too time-consuming.
Author: Stanislaw J. Lec

When you catch your dog eating a dictionary, what should you do? Take the words right out of his mouth.
This is the joke from a category: Dog jokes

Which dog looks like a cat? A police dog in disguise.
This is the joke from a category: Dog jokes

Why did the dog say he was an actor? His leg was in a cast.
This is the joke from a category: Dog jokes

Why do dogs turn around three times before lying down? One good turn deserves another.
This is the joke from a category: Dog jokes

Why was the mother flea so unhappy? All her children had gone to the dogs.
This is the joke from a category: Dog jokes