Best Cell Phones

I am a galley slave to pen and ink.
Author: Honore de Balzac

I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their good intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
Author: Oscar Wilde

I cordially dislike allegory in all its manifestations, and always have done since I grew old and wary enough to detect its presence.
Author: J. R. R. Tolkien

I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who overcomes his enemies.
Author: Aristotle

I do not fear Satan half so much as I fear those who fear him.
Author: Saint Teresa of Avila

An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first time, and in the center of the tomb there is a lamp. So he picked it up and started to rub the dirt off of it, and out came a genie out of the lamp and he said "I want to know the person you hate the most" The explorer said "That's gotta be my ex-wife. Why?" "I am a cursed genie, I will grant you three wishes but whatever you wish for your ex-wife will get double the amount." "OK, I wish for a billion dollars" "Granted, but your ex-wife gets two billion" "I wish for a mansion in California with a swimming pool, and tennis courts, everything" "Granted your ex-wife gets two. This is your final wish" The explorer walked around the room and came back to the genie with a stick and said "Ya see this stick, I'd like you to beat me half to death."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home, and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home, Mother of Six?" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

Following a bitter divorce a husband saw his wife at a party and sneered, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The wife simply sighed and replied, "Yes, dear, I know, but I was in love and didn't really notice."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

I know a husband and wife who have separate bedrooms, drive different cars, take separate vacations, work different shifts, have their own computers, and even have their own ISPs, separate e-mail addresses and Home Pages. They say they're doing everything they can to keep their marriage together.
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nites, and so does she.
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes