Best Cell Phones

I have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me - they're just, like, 'I can't believe you don't remember me!" I'm like, 'Oh Dad I'm sorry!'
Author: Ellen DeGeneres

I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn.
Author: Matt Groening

I just never let anything bother me, man. I know myself really well. Nobody's opinion of me can shake my opinion of myself.
Author: Ruben Studdard

I knew someone had to take the first step and I made up my mind not to move.
Author: Rosa Parks

I know how men in exile feed on dreams of hope.
Author: Aeschylus

What happened to Frankenstein's stupid son? He had so much wax in his ears that he became a permanent contributor to Madame Tussaud's.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

What do you call a mouse that can pick up a monster? Sir.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

What do you call a monster with two wooden heads? Edward Woodward.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

Little monster: Mom, I've finished. Can I leave the table? Mommy monster: Yes, I'll save it for your supper.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

HWhy did the monster lie on his back? To trip up low-flying aircraft.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes