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He that can heroically endure adversity will bear prosperity with equal greatness of the soul; for the mind that cannot be dejected by the former is not likely to be transported without the latter.
Author: Henry Fielding

He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.
Author: Benjamin Franklin

He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
Author: Benjamin Franklin

He that lives on hope will die fasting.
Author: American Proverb

He that plants trees loves others besides himself.
Author: English Proverb

Tyfus applied for a job in a factory. The company doctor who was giving him a physical asked, "Have your eyes ever been checked?" "No," said the worker. "They've always been brown."
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

Henderson bought a new car and, after he left the showroom, decided to catch a movie. When he came out, Henderson noticed he'd locked the car and left the keys in the ignition. He telephoned the dealer. "Which is the cheapest window to break?" he asked. "You don't have to break any of the windows," explained the dealer. "I'll come right down with another key and we can open it together." "No, no!" shouted the new car owner. "I gotta know now! It's about to rain and I wanna put the top up!"
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

Did you hear about the guy from Newfoundland who was twenty-two years old before he knew which part of the olive to throw away?
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

Did you hear about the Puerto Rican secretary who was getting so experienced she could type twenty mistakes a minute?
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

Iraq has just ordered two thousand septic tanks from Russia. As soon as the Iraqis learn to drive them, they are going to invade Iran.
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes