Best Cell Phones

I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.
Author: William H. Mauldin

I felt like poisoning a monk.
Author: Umberto Eco

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Author: Groucho Marx

I hate television. I hate it as much as I hate peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts.
Author: Orson Welles

I have Immortal longings in me.
Author: William Shakespeare

Men are like plastic wrap. Cheap. Clingy. And very easy to see through.
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes

Question: If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes

A neighbor of mine was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing furiously. I told him rabies could be cured and he didn't have to worry about a will. He said, "Will, what will? I'm making a list of people I'm gonna bite."
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes

What's the difference between a psychologist and a magician? A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!
This is the joke from a category: Mental health jokes

Two psychologists meet at their twentieth college reunion. One of them looks like he just graduated, while the other psychologist looks old, worried and withered. The older looking one asks the other, "What's your secret? Listening to other people's problems every day, all day long, for years on end, has made an old man of me." The younger looking one replies, "Who listens?"
This is the joke from a category: Mental health jokes