Best quotes to send by SMS
The Talmud God said: you must teach, as I taught, without a fee.
Author: The Talmud

Hunter S. Thompson Going to trial with a lawyer who considers your whole life-style a Crime in Progress is not a happy prospect.
Author: Hunter S. Thompson

Mark Twain Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
Author: Mark Twain

Geoffrey Neighor Good food ends with good talk.
Author: Geoffrey Neighor

Hyman Rickover Good ideas are not adopted automatically. They must be driven into practice with courageous patience.
Author: Hyman Rickover

The best jokes to send by SMS
History jokes How did you do in your tests ? I did what George Washington did ! What was that ? Went down in history !
This is the joke from a category: History jokes

History jokes What does the 1286BC incribed on the mummy's tomb indicate ? The registration of the car that ran him over !
This is the joke from a category: History jokes

Heaven and hell jokes Two men died and went to Heaven. St. Peter greeted them, and said "I'm sorry, gentlemen, but your mansions aren't ready yet. Until they are, I can send you back to Earth as whatever you want to be." "Great!" said the first guy, "I want to be an eagle soaring above beautiful scenery!" "No problem," replied St. Peter, and POOF! The guy was gone. "And what do you want to be," St. Peter asked the other guy. "I'd like to be one cool stud!" was the reply. "Easy," replied St. Peter, and the other guy was gone. After a few months, their mansions were finished, and St. Peter sent an angel to fetch them back. "You'll find them easily," he says, "One of them is soaring above the Grand Canyon, and the other one is on a snow tire somewhere in Detroit!"
This is the joke from a category: Heaven and hell jokes

Heaven and hell jokes St. Peter is questioning three married couples to see if they qualify for admittance to heaven. "Why do you deserve to pass the Pearly Gates?" he asks one of the men, who had been a butler. "I was a good father," he answers. "Yes, but you were a drunk all your life. In fact, you were so bad you even married a woman named Sherry. No admittance." St. Peter then turned to the next man, a carpenter, and asked him the same question. The carpenter replied that he had worked hard and taken good care of his family. But St. Peter also rejected him, pointing out that he had been an impossible glutton, so much so that he married a woman named BonBon. At this point the third man, who had been a lawyer, stood up and said, "Come on, Penny, let's get out of here."
This is the joke from a category: Heaven and hell jokes

Heaven and hell jokes One day at the entrance to heaven, St. Peter saw a New York street gang. walk up to the Pearly Gates. This being a first, St. Peter ran to God and said, "God, there are some evil, thieving New Yorkers at the Pearly Gates. What do I do?". God replied, "Just do what you normally do with that type. Re-direct them down to hell." St. Peter went back to carry out the order and all of a sudden he comes running back yelling "God, God, they're gone, they're gone!" "Who, the New Yorkers?". "No, the Pearly Gates."
This is the joke from a category: Heaven and hell jokes