Best Cell Phones

I have nothing but contempt for the kind of governor who is afraid, for whatever reason, to follow the course that he knows is best for the State; and as for the man who sets private friendship above the public welfare - I have no use for him either.
Author: Sophocles

I have with me two gods, Persuasion and Compulsion.
Author: Themistocles

I hope you become comfortable with the use of logic without being deceived into concluding that logic will inevitably lead you to the correct conclusion.
Author: Neil Armstrong

I just realized that there's going to be a lot of painful times in life, so I better learn to deal with it the right way.
Author: Trey Parker and Matt Stone

I know a lot about cars. I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
Author: Mitch Hedberg

If you had a million dollars and gave away one quarter, and another quarter, and then another quarter, how much would you have left? A million dollars minus 75 cents.
This is the joke from a category: Money jokes

Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player? Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.
This is the joke from a category: Money jokes

A guy noticed that his buddy was troubled and asked what was wrong. "Ohhh, it's my girlfriend." "What's the problem?" "When I asked her if she could learn to love me, she asked me how much I was willing to spend on her education."
This is the joke from a category: Money jokes

Did you hear about the Wall Street investment banker who won $10 million in the lottery? He's so happy that he's giving some serious thought to paying back his student loan.
This is the joke from a category: Money jokes

Frankenstein was sitting in his cell when suddenly through the wall came the ghost of his monster, with a rope round his neck. Frankenstein said, "Monster, monster, what are you doing here?" The monster said, "Well, boss, they hanged me this morning so now I've come to meet my maker."
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes