Best Cell Phones

I have everything now I had 20 years ago except now, it's all lower.
Author: Gypsy Rose Lee

I have heard of your paintings too, well enough; God has given you one face, and you make yourselves another.
Author: William Shakespeare

I have learned that to be with those I like is enough.
Author: Walt Whitman

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
Author: Ronald Reagan

I have made my world and it is a much better world than I ever saw outside.
Author: Louise Nevelson

- How many survivors of nuclear war does it take to screw in a light bulb? - None. People that glow in the dark don't need lights.
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

A patrol of allied soldiers were in a ruined city during World War Two. They are bragging and joshing about how many kills they have so far to keep up courage on their route through the rubbled buildings. Sergeant Joe thumps his chest and proclaims. "I got me 4 germans bagged so far. Howabout you John?" Before Pfc John can reply, a lone german soldier runs out of a trashed hotel. In the process of throwing down his rifle after seeing the larger allied soldier group, he shouts "NEIN!" Pfc John takes aim at the enemy and shoots him. "Well, he wont get himself a tenth allied soldier." Joe all year long!
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

A recruit examines the food served to him in the batallion dining room. - Do I have any choice here, he asks a sergeant. - Yes, you do. You may eat it or not.
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

Q: "What has an IQ of 42?" A: "40 Marines plus their lieutenant"
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

Q: how many vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: YOU DON'T KNOW! YOU WEREN'T THERE, MAN!!! YOU'LL NEVER KNOW!!!!!
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes