Best Cell Phones

I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers.
Author: Kahlil Gibran

I have made good judgements in the Past. I have made good judgements in the Future.
Author: Dan Quayle

I have never found, in a long experience of politics, that criticism is ever inhibited by ignorance.
Author: Harold Macmillan

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it.
Author: Voltaire

I have not slept one wink.
Author: William Shakespeare

Two paratrooper recruits in a plane: - Are you crazy, Vasily? You are going to jump without a parachute. - Is it mandatory to wear it? - Sure. It's raining outside.
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

Following some duty overseas, the officers at the Fort were planning a welcome home party and dance for the unit. Being an all male combat force, they decided to request coeds from some of the surrounding colleges to attend. The Captain called Vassar and was assured by the Dean that arrangements could be made to send over a dozen of their most trustworthy students. The Captain hesitated, then said, "Would it also be possible to send a dozen or so of the other kind?"
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

Fred collected lots of money from trick-or-treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. "You should give that money to charity," said the sales girl. Fred thought for a moment and said, "No, I'll buy the chocolate. You give the money to charity."
This is the joke from a category: Money jokes

I hate paying my income tax. You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile? I'd like to but they insist on money
This is the joke from a category: Money jokes

A doctor had been attending a rich old man for some time, but it became apparent that the old chap had not long to live. Accordingly, the doctor advised his wealthy patient to put his affairs in order. "Oh yes, I've done that," said the old gentleman. "I've only got to make a will. And do you know what I'm going to do with all my money? I'm going to leave it to the doctor who saves my life."
This is the joke from a category: Money jokes