The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.
Author: James Branch Cabell

If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking.
Author: Lyndon B. Johnson

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
Author: Mitch Hedberg

Law is the embodiment of the moral sentiment of the people.
Author: William Blackstone

People always call it luck when you've acted more sensibly than they have.
Author: Anne Tyler

Why did the army send so many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf? They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

- How many survivors of nuclear war does it take to screw in a light bulb? - None. People that glow in the dark don't need lights.
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

A patrol of allied soldiers were in a ruined city during World War Two. They are bragging and joshing about how many kills they have so far to keep up courage on their route through the rubbled buildings. Sergeant Joe thumps his chest and proclaims. "I got me 4 germans bagged so far. Howabout you John?" Before Pfc John can reply, a lone german soldier runs out of a trashed hotel. In the process of throwing down his rifle after seeing the larger allied soldier group, he shouts "NEIN!" Pfc John takes aim at the enemy and shoots him. "Well, he wont get himself a tenth allied soldier." Joe all year long!
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

A recruit examines the food served to him in the batallion dining room. - Do I have any choice here, he asks a sergeant. - Yes, you do. You may eat it or not.
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

Q: "What has an IQ of 42?" A: "40 Marines plus their lieutenant"
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes