The only sure thing about luck is that it will change.
Author: Bret Harte

The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is inefficiency. An efficient bureaucracy is the greatest threat to liberty.
Author: Eugene McCarthy

The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.
Author: Margo Kaufman

The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
Author: Kin Hubbard

I take the view, and always have, that if you cannot say what you are going to say in twenty minutes you ought to go away and write a book about it.
Author: Lord Brabazon

A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention. Four of them decided to leave, and walked out together. One said to the other three, "People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears, but we have no one that we can go to when we have problems." The others agreed. Then one said, "Since we are all professionals, why don't we take some time right now to hear each other out?" The other three agreed. The first then confessed, "I have an uncontrollable desire to kill my patients." The second psychiatrist said, "I love expensive things and so I find ways to cheat my patients out of their money whenever I can so I can buy the things I want." The third followed with, "I'm involved with selling drugs and often get my patients to sell them for me." The fourth psychiatrist then confessed, "I know I'm not supposed to, but no matter how hard I try, I can't kee p a secret..."
This is the joke from a category: Mental health jokes

Why did the witch go to the psychiatrist? Because she thought everybody loved her.
This is the joke from a category: Mental health jokes

Patient: Why did you charge me a group rate? Psychiatrist: You've got multiple personalities.
This is the joke from a category: Mental health jokes

Why is a psychiatrist like a squirrel? Because they are both surrounded by nuts.
This is the joke from a category: Mental health jokes

You Might be a Marine Wife if: 1. Your mail goes to four addresses in two countries before it reaches you. 2. You earned an Accounting degree by deciphering your husband's LES and running a family on what was ACTUALLY deposited. 3. "Savings" sounds like a great idea and you hope to someday have some. 4. Sex - see #3. 5. You can simultaneously be a control freak, change plans on a moment's notice, yet you are not being treated for schizophrenia. 6. You know the Tricare regulations/procedures better than their service reps. 7. You know what forms you need better than your husband's Admin clerk. 8. You are strangely attracted (or repulsed) by the color green. 9. You can calculate the cost of a 5-minute phone call from any country, any time, on up to four different calling plans. 10. At a distance, you can pick out your husband from 100 other men with identical haircuts and clo thes. 11. The face paint in your closet is NOT for your children. 12. Name tapes are not just for kids.
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes