Best Cell Phones

If all men are born free, how is it that all women are born slaves?
Author: Mary Astell

When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane.
Author: Hermann Hesse

When good men die their goodness does not perish, But lives though they are gone. As for the bad, All that was theirs dies and is buried with them.
Author: Euripides

When I am attacked by gloomy thoughts, nothing helps me so much as running to my books. They quickly absorb me and banish the clouds from my mind.
Author: Michel de Montaigne

In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty.
Author: Ralph Waldo Emerson

Do they really serve burgers in Transylvania? Very rare-ly.
This is the joke from a category: Burger jokes

Why did the bat miss the bus? Because he hung around for too long.
This is the joke from a category: Bus jokes

What does a cannibal eat with cheese? Pickled organs.
This is the joke from a category: Cannibal jokes

When Abraham Liebowitz gets to school he discovers that he is the only Jewish kid in the class. But it's a decent town and nobody really bothers him. One day the teacher asks the class "Who was the greatest person who ever lived? and why?" And to make it interesting she held a twenty dollar bill in the air and said "whoever gives the best answer will get this twenty dollars". All of the kids called out their guesses. One said "George Washington - because he was the father of our country." "That's excellent" said the teacher. Another said "Abraham Lincoln - because he freed the slaves." "That's also good" said the teacher, reluctant to bestow an excellent, but still being polite. One little girl said "Joan of Arc - because she saved France." Another excellent choice said the teacher. Then Abraham Liebowitz, raised his hand. nSo the teacher called on him. "Abraham, who do you think was the greatest person who ever lived, and why?" And Abraham said "Jesus Christ." The teacher was shocked. "Abraham," she said "I'm very surprised. Class, I think we can all agree that Abraham should get the twenty dollars." And she handed Abraham Liebowitz the money. At recess, the teacher was still very impressed. So she asked Abraham why he said Jesus. Abraham said "Look, personally I think Moses was the greatest person who ever lived, but... business is business!"
This is the joke from a category: Business jokes

A man is driving along in the Irish countryside, when he comes to a petrol station, since he's in need of petrol, the man decides to stop. He says to the attendant at the station, "Fill it up, will you?". The man says "Sorry - we're right out of petrol." So the man considers, and says "Well, I'm a bit low on oil, would you mind topping that up?" And the attendant responds"Sorry, but no oil either." The man thinks, and asks the attendant to wash his windscreen, to which he gets the by-now predictable response that he can't do that. The man at this point is fairly mad, so he asks the attendant "Just what kind of petrol station is this ?" The attendant then looks both ways, and very carefully whispers to the man "To tell you the truth, this is just an IRA front." The man then says "Well, in that case, you can blow up the tyres !"
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes