Best Cell Phones

An object in possession seldom retains the same charm that it had in pursuit.
Author: Pliny the Younger

An orator is a good man who is skilled in speaking.
Author: Cato the Elder

An ounce of loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness.
Author: Elbert Hubbard

An unstable pilot steers a leaking ship, and the blind is leading the blind straight to the pit. The ruler is like the ruled.
Author: Saint Jerome

And all who told it added something new, And all who heard it made enlargements too.
Author: Alexander Pope

"When you exit the bus, please be sure to lower your head and watch your step." "If you miss your step and hit your head, please lower your voice and watch your language. Thank you."
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes

A man walks into an auto parts store and says "I'd like a rear view mirror for my Yugo." The man behind the counter thinks about this for a while, then says "Yup, seems like a fair trade to me."
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes

A Lutheran minister is driving down to New York to see the radio show and he's stopped in Connecticut for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on his breath and then he sees an empty wine bottle on the floor, and he says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" And the minister says, "Just water." The sheriff says, "Then why do I smell wine?" And the minister looks down at the bottle and says, "Good Lord, He's done it again!"
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes

A man was driving up a steep and narrow mountain road. A woman was driving down the same road. As they passed each other, the woman leaned out the window and yelled, "Pig!" The man immediately leaned out his window and replied, "Moron!" They continue on their way and as the man rounded the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes

A fellow was following a truck in heavy traffic. Every block or so, when they were stopped at a stop light, the driver of the truck would jump out of the cab with a big stick and bang on the side of the cargo bay. He'd then jump back into the cab in time to drive away when the signal changed. The first fellow observed this for several miles, until he could stand it no longer. The next time the truck driver jumped out with the stick, the first fellow jumped out and ran up to him. "I'm sorry to bother you," he said, over the din of the banging, "but I am very curious; could you tell me what you are doing?" Without breaking rhythm, the truck driver replied, "Sure, Mac. Ya see, this here's a six-ton truck but I've got eight tons of canaries aboard, so I've gotta keep two ton of them flying all the time so I don't break an axle".
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes