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As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
Author: George Carlin

As Americans, we go forward, in the service of our country, by the will of God.
Author: Franklin D. Roosevelt

As fast as laws are devised, their evasion is contrived.
Author: German Proverb

As I know more of mankind I expect less of them, and am ready now to call a man a good man upon easier terms than I was formerly.
Author: Samuel Johnson

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.
Author: Dick Cavett

Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a Christmas bell! Just take these pills - and, if they don't work, give me a ring!
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes

I wouldn't say Christmas gnomes are ugly, But if beauty's skin deep then they were was born inside out!
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes

What's a ghosts favourite Christmas entertainment ? A phantomime !
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes

Father Christmas: What's your favourite Christmas story? Elf: The one where the three creatures are scared of the Big Bad Wolf and they grow on trees! Father Christmas: You mean 'The Three Little Figs'.
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes

A football supporter's favourite Christmas song? 'Yule never walk alone'
This is the joke from a category: Christmas jokes