If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters.
Author: Nora Ephron

There will always be a part, and always a very large part of every community, that have no care but for themselves, and whose care for themselves reaches little further than impatience of immediate pain, and eagerness for the nearest good.
Author: Samuel Johnson

Humor is our way of defending ourselves from life's absurdities by thinking absurdly about them.
Author: Lewis Mumford

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
Author: Publilius Syrus

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.
Author: P. J. O Rourke

What do French pupils say after finishing their school dinners ? Mercy !
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

Mother: How do you like your new teacher ? Son: I don't. She told me to sit up the front for the present and then she didn't give me one !
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

Teacher: Can anyone give me the name of a liquid that won't freeze ? Pupil: Hot water !
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

Teacher: Fred can you find me Australia on the map please ? Pupil: There it is Teacher: Now, Louise, who discovered Australia ? Pupil: Fred did !
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

Teacher: In music, if "f" means "forte", what does "ff" mean ? Pupil: Eighty
This is the joke from a category: School jokes