I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last.
Author: Bible

Pleasure is a by-product of doing something that is worth doing. Therefore, do not seek pleasure as such. Pleasure comes of seeking something else, and comes by the way.
Author: A. Lawrence Lowell

It is a great thing to start life with a small number of really good books which are your very own.
Author: Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

There's folks 'ud stand on their heads and then say the fault was i' their boots.
Author: George Eliot

There's no easy way out. If there were, I would have bought it. And believe me, it would be one of my favorite things!
Author: Oprah Winfrey

Teacher: You seem very well read, have you read Shakespeare ? Pupil: No Teacher: What have you read then ? Pupil: Umm, I've got red hair !
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

Teacher: Fred, I'm glad to see your writing has improved. Pupil: Thank you Teacher: Now I can see how bad your spelling is though !
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

Caspar: I was the teacher's pet last year. Jaspar: Why was that? Caspar: She couldn't afford a dog.
This is the joke from a category: School jokes

What do you get if you cross a snake and a lego set ? A boa constructor !
This is the joke from a category: Snake jokes

What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig ? A boar constrictor !
This is the joke from a category: Snake jokes