They wonder much to hear that gold, which in itself is so useless a thing, should be everywhere so much esteemed, that even men for whom it was made, and by whom it has its value, should yet be thought of less value than it is.
Author: Sir Thomas More

Things could always be worse; for instance, you could be ugly and work in the Post Office.
Author: Adrienne E. Gusoff

Never think that God's delays are God's denials. Hold on; hold fast; hold out. Patience is genius.
Author: Comte de Buffon

Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so too.
Author: Voltaire

Imitation is the sincerest of flattery.
Author: Charles Caleb Colton

Why was the struggling mange seen shaking the club cat? To see if there was any more money in the kitty!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Manager: I thought I told you to lose weight. What happened to your three week diet? Player: I finished it in three days!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

What did they call Dracula when he won the league? The champire!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Why are football grounds odd? Because you can sit in the stands but can't stand in the sits!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded? Bring on their subs!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes