Not by age but by capacity is wisdom acquired.
Author: Titus Maccius Plautus

The world tolerates conceit from those who are successful, but not from anybody else.
Author: John Blake

The worst is not So long as we can say, "This is the worst."
Author: William Shakespeare

I am more and more convinced that our happiness or unhappiness depends more on the way we meet the events of life than on the nature of those events themselves.
Author: Alexander Humboldt

I tell you the past is a bucket of ashes.
Author: Carl Sandburg

QUESTION: How long does a United States Congressman serve? ANSWER: Until he gets caught.
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes

Q: What has dual airbags and has lots of room? A: The White House.
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes

Juggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police. "What are those knives doing in your car?" asked the officer. "I juggle them in my act." "Oh yeah?" says the cop. "Let's see you do it." So the juggler starts tossing and juggling the knives. A guy driving by sees this and says, "Wow, am I glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're making you do now!"
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes

Late one Friday night the policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening. "Aye, so I have. 'Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven pints. And then there was something called "Happy Hour" and they served these mar-gar-itos which are quite good. I had four or five o' those. Then I had to drive me friend Mike home and O' course I had to go in for a couple of Guinness - couldn't be rude, ye know. Then I stopped on the way home to get another bottle for later .." And the man fumbled around in his coat until he located his bottle of whiskey, which he held up for inspection. The officer sighed, and said, "Sir, I'm afraid I'll need you to step out of the car and take a breathalyzer test." Indignantly, the man said, "Why? Don't ye believe me? !"
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes

A tourist asks a man in uniform, "Are you a policeman?" "No, I am an undercover detective." "So why are you in uniform?" "Today is my day off."
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes