Personality can open doors, but only character can keep them open.
Author: Elmer G. Letterman

There are no secrets better kept than the secrets that everybody guesses.
Author: George Bernard Shaw

There are no wise few. Every aristocracy that has ever existed has behaved, in all essential points, exactly like a small mob.
Author: G. K. Chesterton

There are only two kinds of scholars; those who love ideas and those who hate them.
Author: Emile Chartier

There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying o
Author: Mark Twain

Police Chief: Why did you ticket the computer? Officer: It was speeding along the information highway.
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes

A man leaves a bar, gets into his car and drives away. 200 yards further he's stopped by a police officer. Officer: "Good evening sir. We're testing drivers for drunken driving. Would you please blow into this machine?". Man: "I'm sorry, I can't do that. I have asthma. If I blow on that machine I will get out of air". Officer: "Please come along to the office and we can give you a blood test". Man: "I can't do that. I have anemia and if you stick a needle in me I will bleed to death". Officer: "Then you'll have to get out and walk 5 yards along this white line". Man: "Can't do that either". Officer: "Why not?". Man: "Because I'm dead drunk".
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes

How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!
This is the joke from a category: Rabbit jokes

How do you make a rabbit stew? Keep it waiting.
This is the joke from a category: Rabbit jokes

My friend is nuts. He thinks he's Bugs Bunny. But I'm positive he isn't. How do you know he isn't? Because I am.
This is the joke from a category: Rabbit jokes