Best Cell Phones

It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
Author: Peter De Vries

It is the rare fortuene of these days that one may think what one likes and say what one thinks.
Author: Cornelius Tacitus

I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.
Author: Augusten Burroughs

It is when power is wedded to chronic fear that it becomes formidable.
Author: Eric Hoffer

It is wonderful how quickly you get used to things, even the most astonishing.
Author: Edith Nesbitt

A patient was at her doctor's office after undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, "I have some very grave news for you. You only have six months to live." The patient asked, "Oh doctor, what should I do?" The doctor replied, "Marry an accountant." "Will that make me live longer?" asked the patient. "No," said the doctor, "but it will SEEM longer."
This is the joke from a category: Accountant jokes

What do you call an and with frogs legs ? An antphibian !
This is the joke from a category: Ant jokes

What lives in apples and is an avid reader? A bookworm !
This is the joke from a category: Apple jokes

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new airplane in the living room. She heard her son said, "All of you sons of bitches get the hell off the plane now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the plane, cause we're going to take-off now." The mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your plane, but I want you to use nice language." Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his plane. Soon the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are deplaning, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for flying with us today and hope your tr ip was a pleasant one. We hope you will fly with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the plane. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today." As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."
This is the joke from a category: Aviation jokes

Tom: What did the banana say to the elephant? Nick: I don't know. Tom: Nothing. Bananas can't talk.
This is the joke from a category: Banana jokes