The question is not, can they reason? Nor, can they talk? But, can they suffer?
Author: Jeremy Bentham

The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.
Author: Mark Twain

The real distinction is between those who adapt their purposes to reality and those who seek to mold reality in the light of their purposes.
Author: Henry Kissinger

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.
Author: Marcel Proust

The reason we all like to think so well of others is that we are all afraid for ourselves. The basis of optimism is sheer terror.
Author: Oscar Wilde

'Here's a good book,' said the sales assistant in the book shop to Mrs Monster. 'How To Help Your Husband Get Ahead.' 'No, thank you,' said Mrs Monster. 'My husband's got two heads already. . .'
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

What's big and hairy and goes 'beep beep'? A monster in a traffic jam.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

FRED MONSTER: My sister must be twenty. I counted the rings under her eyes. BERT MONSTER: That's nothing. My sister's tongue is so long, she can lick an envelope after she's posted it.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

MRS MONSTER TO MR MONSTER: Try to be nice to my mother when she visits us this weekend, dear. Fall down when she hits you.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

What do they have for lunch at Monster School? Human beans, boiled legs, pickled bunions and eyes-cream.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes