Best quotes to send by SMS
Ralph Waldo Emerson The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it.
Author: Ralph Waldo Emerson

Anna Quindlen If your success is not on your own terms, if it looks good to the world but does not feel good in your heart, it is not success at all.
Author: Anna Quindlen

Rebecca Beard The past is finished. There is nothing to b gained by going over it. Whatever it gave us in the experiences it brought us was something we had to know.
Author: Rebecca Beard

Ben Stein I came to realize that life lived to help others is the only one that matters and that it is my duty...This is my highest and best use as a human.
Author: Ben Stein

Confucius The people may be made to follow a path of action, but they may not be made to understand it.
Author: Confucius

The best jokes to send by SMS
Military jokes I was an Air Force ICBM launch control officer in South Dakota. Two officers pulled 24-hour alerts in a launch control center that was surrounded by several Minuteman II silos. The facility and the silos were separated by several miles. We were not allowed to leave the "capsule" until relieved the next day, and we were supported by several on-site personnel in the support building upstairs. The capsules were Spartan, but each boasted a small refrigerator and a small microwave. On one tour of duty, the cook called down around lunch time and informed us that she was cleaning her oven and that hot food would be unavailable for a short time. Later, around supper time, she called down again and apologized that she had dismantled her oven to clean it, was having trouble reassembling it, and would again be unable to heat our food orders. We were somewhat annoyed, but, being the kinder, gent ler military officers we were, told her "No problem. Just send down the frozen meals and we'll 'nuke' them ourselves." Several seconds of dead silence on the phone followed before she whispered, "You can DO that?" :
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

Military jokes A general calls a colonel: - Do you have a couple of smart majors? - Yes I do. - Send them to me. I need to move my furniture around.
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

Military jokes Q: How many British navy Officers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but it takes him seven weeks to get there.
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

Military jokes Q: How many military information officers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: At the present point in time it is against policy and the best interests of military strategy to divulge information of such a statistical nature. Next question, please.
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

Military jokes A draftee went in for his physical wearing a truss and with a little convincing acting got his papers marked M.E. for Medically Exempt. Afterward a friend borrowed the truss to wear for his physical. At the end of the examination the doctor stamped M.E. on his papers. "Does that mean I'm medically exempt?" he asked. "No," answered the doctor. "M.E. stands for Middle East. Anyone who can wear a truss upside down can certainly ride a camel."
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes