I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.
Author: Ellen DeGeneres

The Philistines be upon thee, Samson.
Author: Bible

If you're afraid to let someone else see your weakness, take heart: Nobody's perfect. Besides, your attempts to hide your flaws don't work as well as you think they do.
Author: Julie Morgenstern

Nice guys finish last.
Author: Leo Durocher

Never suffer youth to be an excuse for inadequacy, nor age and fame to be an excuse for indolence.
Author: Benjamin Haydon

How did the man feel when he got a big bill from the electric company? He was shocked.
This is the joke from a category: Money jokes

How can you double your money? Look at it in a mirror.
This is the joke from a category: Money jokes

Why did the man throw away all the new pennies he had? Because they were a nuisance (new cents).
This is the joke from a category: Money jokes

Where do Eskimos keep their money? In snowbanks.
This is the joke from a category: Money jokes

How can you be sure you have counterfeit money? If it's a three-dollar bill, you can be sure.
This is the joke from a category: Money jokes