Best Cell Phones

I have with me two gods, Persuasion and Compulsion.
Author: Themistocles

I hope you become comfortable with the use of logic without being deceived into concluding that logic will inevitably lead you to the correct conclusion.
Author: Neil Armstrong

I just realized that there's going to be a lot of painful times in life, so I better learn to deal with it the right way.
Author: Trey Parker and Matt Stone

I know a lot about cars. I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
Author: Mitch Hedberg

I know how to do anything - I'm a mom.
Author: Roseanne Barr

What do you call a monster with a wooden head? Edward.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

How did the monster cure his sore throat? He spent all day gargoyling.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

Did you hear the joke about the two monsters who crashed? They fell off a cliff, boom, boom.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

Where is the monster's temple? On the side of his head.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

What makes an ideal present for a monster? Five pairs of gloves one for each hand.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes